I’m not going to lie to you. The only reason I took this book down off of one of the many dirty, overcrowded, disorganized book shelves we have in our house that are filled with books I started to read and never finished or never started is because I thought it was Bird by Bird.
You guys know that one? It’s probably the second most famous book by Anne Lamott, the beloved memoir writer who builds bridges among diverse communities through various intersections of her identity: feminist, Christian, and person in recovery. Bird by Bird is a writing manual infused with personal narrative. A friend of mine had been talking about it recently so I thought I should reread it. But this is a different book. A book that had I realized what it was, I wouldn’t have started reading it because it’s a novel. Anne Lamott is a really good memoirist and essayist. This is a novel she wrote. How good could it be?
I know. I know. Judgy AF, right? I wouldn’t have even given it a chance if it hadn’t been a mistake because I hate to be disappointed. It would be like if Andrea Bocelli had cleared his throat in front of the microphone in the majestic, empty Duomo of Milan on Easter Sunday and when he lifted his incredible tenor’s voice to pray through song for the world’s healing from Covid 19, he burst into MacArthur Park by Richard Harris. You remember…someone left the cake out in the rain? There are some things you can’t recover from. (That didn’t happen by the way and you should totally watch this video on youtube because it is beautiful and inspiring.)
So I’ve loved Anne Lamott’s memoirs for decades thanks to Traveling Mercies. How good (or bad!) could a novel by her really be?
Well, here’s what I have to say about Imperfect Birds, especially right now. Anne Lamott is super good at talking about despair, fear and anxiety which most of the time you think you want straight up in a memoir, but I like the mother-self she creates in this book whose teenage daughter is struggling with addiction and the lies and avoidances that inevitably accompany it. There’s also something about reading it right now that is helpful. Having the terror of parenting on the surface and the mom trying to figure out how to deal with her own recovery and pain while she struggles with her daughter’s pain and fear is relevant to now. It’s very much about learning how to love your child and be a separate person at the same time which is necessary in the best and worst of times. And Lamott sprinkles relief in for her mom character with descriptions of gardening and cooking and loving her spouse….just like we have to sprinkle the relief in for ourselves with these basic things at this difficult time.
It’s definitely a book for parents about parenting. I recommend it. Now maybe I will go read a short story by Robert Frost and love it.
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